today is a shut down day for me.. + totally self indulgent punye blog post

seriously i need a break.. 4 days yg sgt2 memenatkn.. otak la penat.. bdn x nmpk pun berpeluh ke apa.. tadi pagi pakse diri bgn lpstu mata tak mau bukak.. last2 rase mcm kene attack migrain..trus give up nk pakse bgn.. pape pun hrni make me realise.. what i am feeling now isi how i am feeling back then .. 1st time in mmu.. alpha time..

so much to process in my mind that i choose to let my inner self out..

oky cukup cakap pasal bende2 merepek..nk citer pasal security my condo.. gile la.. skrg ni security lagi ketat drpd ixora.. smp pak cik dlm lif kata anak dia from kolej nk msk pun x blh.. my mak+ayah nk dtg pun blh stay dlm compund x lebih 2 jam.. gile x?.. memang terase mcm dok hostel tp lagi ketat.. but for the better kut.. pape la kn.. baik focus bende lain..drpd nk bertekak dgn guard..

next..i've allow public to view my tweets.. dh tak private dh..why? saje..seriously xd sebab specific..actually semlm nk retweet bos nye tweet and then realise die buat private maka x leh retweet..so now am publickn tweet..

bawah ni saje nk citer psl certain tweets pasal zodian scorpio..

true love when u can feel secure + protected when u tell ur weakness.. ur past.. ur secrets.. not feeling abandoned..when all ur walls are torn down.. 

now.. all are open.. nothing is hidden..i'm still standing.. wounded maybe..

not love.. not support.. in order to overcome obstacle it seems.. i need to use my determination + will power.. 

putting all those emotions aside.. it is painful.. but i once done it.. even it means i need to be independent, my result this sem.. might go down.. herm.. in the end.. i'm the one who care about me.. no one else..

i've said nasty things..what i will do.. bla..bla.. but i won't do it..i don't have the heart to do anything.. not like other people..

penat la pulak.. rase nk lelap..+ hoping even i lost part of me.. i still fulfill what my parents wish..

terase..i'm my 18 years old me back..